I'm going to imagine all this, how

I'm going to imagine all this, how

the head has gone in several different directions

none of which arrive anywhere

            other than here

I think I know your demons, they are

my demons too, I think

I know how the song goes but play it for me

one last time    anyway

and pour me whatever you've got, some

I think I know

            I am lacking grace

substantial

I'm going to imagine all this, how

I cannot blithely go and I cannot

            cannot stay

stay please sadness stay gumption stay possibilities stay

            mad

because I'm not going to imagine all this

because I was furious

because I was curious

how I'm not going

because

            I rearrange the furniture again

Sometimes I need to be wrong about everything

surplus debris, optimized

sound, wait, raise this

push this (in terms of the trajectory)

before that I was desperate

and doing an experiment;

I drilled holes in the roof and there were already holes in the roof

I was trying to connect

the wrong ones

raise X, cut this

idea of  'inside'

which makes things a little small

the end

Tantrum

            I'm fixing a hole. The heat came through, the cold came through. I don't choose my affinities, I make the holes. I fix the holes again. Starting from this beginning, I leave a lot out. I knit through death. I knit through the holes. The randomness of friendship has nothing to do with it. Your career has nothing to do with it. Stability exists alongside melting ice, slipknots, power lines, mud. This is not up to me.

I'm thinking a hole. With or without ability. With or without increases. One side of the canyon is winter, the other is still fall. Stability exists with or without an occasion. Your salary has nothing to do with it. I choose to leave a lot out.

Known Issues

you were a liar, untrustworthy, with poor judgment

you were a coward and no: my mistake

you emerge from the stall with a telephone in one hand

and this is creepier, this is stupid, but what

you were forgetting to unpack there was no point

you were awake and I was dreaming the pieces except to say

you kept forgetting to drive you were the entertainment

you took over the lecture, a reenactment of, for instance

the bad children's table

you were intransigent you were inimitable no you were just

you, you were acting as if

you were in my dream again but then

you emerge you use exclamation points you almost arrive at

you were forgetting I was awake

you waited a year alongside me you waited

you did not think this should count you were willing to accept

you were overheard you were not counting

you fake it easily but I remember you saying, the look in your eyes

you forgive easily but I remember

I remember it all